Lets see where this goes.....

Ok....since i am on a sort of writing spree...here's another one. Its fun to know that you have a devive in your hand which makes you feel connected to the rest of the world....you have a device which enables you to write a blog anywhere any time amd publish it.....it enables you to access your favourite social jetworking ...networking sites anytime anywhere, thus re-iterating the point that we all crave for social acceptance....you can play cool games, check out the news, keep a tag on the market, take photos and share them with people you don't even call sometimes.....but what do you know...its just a matter of time. A gew months back i would have said the exact same things about a laptop. I am over the laptop and my phone is my new best friend....but for how long.....

For most people its a few months...for some its a few hours....but for ke its my bill...the minute i see my bill and realise that it just burnt a hole in my pocket.....i ll unsubscribe from the internet and go back to not writing.....
But then one day i will yet a jew device, say the exact same words i just said and go on another writing spree....oh guess what...i am already looking forward to my next gadget splurge..........
But none the less its cool. The only cons i see are the mistypings, the small screen....not to mention the small font...but i can live with it....
So...this one is dedicated to the mew cool toy in my hand which makes me feel that now i have instant access to all things which mostly waste a lot of time....but i am not complaining.

A First...

Writing has always been a pleaseure. So generally, I write when I am in a good mood or atleast, when I am not in a bad mood. I avoid writing when I am depressed, although it does relieve it sometimes but whatever I write when depressed, I burn. because trust me, they are words worth burning. I avoid writing when I am beyond reprieve. That is like super-depressed for the simple and suicidal for those who have been there and done that (not suicide!!otherwise no point writing this).

I once wrote a suicide note and gave up the idea because I coul'nt find anyone to pin the blame on!!!Ok.That was a joke. And I am sure all those who know me and are reading this must be saying to themselves: Oh damn! I am so sure he did that!!. Anyways, I did once write an angry letter to my parents. I made sure they read it. Mom slapped me back to my senses and I  am Oh! so grateful to her for that!!! I also wrote a stupid angry blog once when I was in one of my fits of super-depression. It was fun to read it after one year. I was like 'Wow man! I am sick!!(ROFL)'. I dont even remember why I was angry.

I used to write sad entries in my diary till the time I realised I was chronically depressed. Mom offered to slap me back to my senses again but the offer was enough for me to come back to a state of bliss. Oh, and now you must be wondering how sad my life can be. Well, yes, it has been a mixed bag so far. Fate handed me half of the mess and half I created for myself.

Ok!! Sorry fate for hurting your feelings. Approximately 76.88 % of the mess was created by me.

Anyways. This is my first blog written under a state of almost total emotional breakdown. I wanted to write. So I decided to make it a little comically-sad if thereis any such thing.

Wotsay??

All I ever wanted...

All I ever wanted to do(in order of priority) was fall in love, get good grades, get a good job, fall deeper in love, get an MBA, get a good job, get married, fall in love again (same person), have kids, too far to think. What happened was: fell in love, felled in love, failed in love, just passed college, got a good job, fell in love, was separated from my love (but we were still in love) realised that job wasn't really good, fell out of love, fell in love again (same person), tried for an MBA, failed, tried again, failed, fell deeper in love, was separated from my love just after that, changed my job, too early to comment on my job.......

Hmmm. Things didn't go according to 'plan'. But if you ask me what I would have preferred, what happened...happened for the good. I don't know what happens next. If I say I don't care, I'd be lying but what is going to happen???

All I want, at the moment, are not some pipe dreams but they are something out of the ordinary. Like, immunity to certain emotions, certain feelings which arise in the head every now and then, and a little more freedom; no, I don't want any amendments in my rights; freedom from a few shackles which I created myself. A little more patience, a little more faith....and Katrina Kaif.

 OK. the last part may be a pipe dream. Maybe.

And as an old friend used to say, 'lets see what transpires'!!

Just a post to keep me from nodding again...

As I find out the hard way the ineffictiveness of coffee to keep me awake, I realise how important it is to have a good eight hours of sleep on a Sunday night. Because if you dont get that sleep, you are going to nod for most part of  Monday.

Monday. I used to call Monday 'Moanday' and people thought I was Bengali. They never got the joke despite moaning over their lives, other lives and other things. Some of us discussed our exploits over the weekend. Some of us discussed numbers...like the number of beer pints poured down our gullet, the number of pegs consumed over the weekend and the numbers on the bar bill we were responsible for. Higher the numbers, higher the pride and deeper the hidden guilt. Most of us are like:-

To our friend: "I drank booze worth 3300 bucks alone. Beat that loserboy!!"
To ourselves: "F***. 3300 bucks. Loserboy!!!!"

 Not because we drank so much, but because we spent so much on booze in one shot. That money could have got us so many beers had we thought of having drinks at home itself.

Then there are those who did something 'productive' over the weekend...like went out on a trek, had a great time!!....went to meet my relatives....bought the latest GMAT book ...... cleaned my room......got my bike serviced.....and all these guys have that smirk on their face which is like:-

What they expect it looks like: "Huh..losers...drunks...junkies....what a waste of mankind!!"
What it really is:" F*** I am so jealous right now!!...havent had a beer in months!! And I bloody burnt a hole in my pocket buying chocolates for the relatives' little kids!!! I could have had beer man!!!"

Then there are those who want to show of how 'reproductive' they were over the weekend. Even though it sounds the most interesting, no one is really interested in other people's sexcapades!!

Then there are the one's who will never reveal what they did over the weekend!!...which is fine by me. Their roving eyes and expressions are fun to read. A very very gentle smile means something good happened. A forlorn look means the weekend wasn't what they expected it to be!! Its fun to guess what they did over the weekend.

By the end of monday, every one has plans for the next weekend. Those who were lazy, decide to do something productive. The productive guys want to do something lazy or get drunk. The drunks and the junkies want to quit by the next weekend. The 'reproductive' guys still cant get over their 'reproductive' activities. The silent ones don't reveal a thing. Which means they might just have another interesting weekends. Bu the time friday knocks on thier doors...resolutions are fogotten....

Hoping the next weekend is more interesting than the one that just went by......

the best part? Its free....and you never bothered to take notice!!!

1. OSS; I love Open Source. Most of the software installed on my machine is Open Source. And I confess, I haven't contributed to Open Source. Not even a single line of code. Apart from that, many organisations are implementing Open Source Softwares in a huge way. Which is cool. Saves the organisation a lot of money. Gives Open Source the popularity it deserves. But, what are we giving in return? I believe if an organisation is implementing Open source software on a huge scale, it should observe the savings for an year, and part of it should be donated to the OSS community which developed the software.
2. OSI; Open source Information. I love Wikipedia. Without wikipedia, sometimes I think I wouldn't have been able to sustain some serious conversations I've had in the recent past. The best part? Its free. And I believe we should do our part in sustaining it. There is another best part to Wikipedia. Its ad free. And I bet you never noticed it. So, if you feel wikipedia has contributed to your knowledge base some how: Please donate whenever the donations open. I know they keep going up a little every year...but Wikipedia grows much bigger every year.

Why we should get into fights sometimes!!!

I don't like violence. Not even verbal. If some one is getting into a verbal duel with me I generally back out. There are a few reasons for that :-

1. I am not a very good dueler. Even in a verbal fight, I might resort to blows if I don't find the words, which is not a good idea...
2. I am a land mine as compared to others. They might be time bombs or grenades...but I am a mine!!!...as long as I am not avoiding something, I ll blow up the minute I am pricked!!!
3. Before blowing up, of resorting to blows... I ll avoid a fight at all costs. Yes, you may call it lack of courage!!You may call it timidness!! You may call it lack of balls!!! just carry on...I am making a list of all the descriptions. I ll decide on it later.

But a fight has its own advantages. Its obvious that these can be noticed by those who get into occasional fights...the rare fight with a friend...or manager...or parent...some random guy on the road. Once you decide on getting into a fight...verbal/physical...you are switching off the 'flight' button in your brain and activating the 'fight' one....which should be done once in a while. There is no use over working the 'flight' button. Also, the decision means that you have lost your cool, so it gives you an opportunity to analyse why you lost your cool. And its not the losing cool part which is important. Its the reasons behind it which are.

Then comes the exercise(physical/mental/moral/spiritual etc etc). A physical conflict is going to measure the following parameters:-

• Physical Strength
• Reflexes
• Stamina
• Endurance
• Hospital Bill (if you are losing the fight)
• last but not the least: are you a land mine/grenad/time bomb/dud

But the verbal fight measures far more important paramenters :-

• Patience
• Ability to think (logically) when under duress
• Logical powress
• What you 'really' think of the other person involved in the fight!!
• What the other person thinks of you!!
• How big your ego is..
• How big the other person's ego is..
• Emotional Quotient
• How you chose to end the fight:-

                 a) With blows
                 b) Amicably
                 c) Going silent/breaking relationships
                 d) finding a solution

So basically, getting into a fight tells you a lot about yourself. So the next time, if you are in a situation where a fight seems to be the only answer, try it out. Its not fun!!! But perhaps its the perfect opportunity for the introspection you were always searching for. And dont be scared of it!!!....neither the fight, nor the introspection which will follow!!!