A First...

Writing has always been a pleaseure. So generally, I write when I am in a good mood or atleast, when I am not in a bad mood. I avoid writing when I am depressed, although it does relieve it sometimes but whatever I write when depressed, I burn. because trust me, they are words worth burning. I avoid writing when I am beyond reprieve. That is like super-depressed for the simple and suicidal for those who have been there and done that (not suicide!!otherwise no point writing this).

I once wrote a suicide note and gave up the idea because I coul'nt find anyone to pin the blame on!!!Ok.That was a joke. And I am sure all those who know me and are reading this must be saying to themselves: Oh damn! I am so sure he did that!!. Anyways, I did once write an angry letter to my parents. I made sure they read it. Mom slapped me back to my senses and I  am Oh! so grateful to her for that!!! I also wrote a stupid angry blog once when I was in one of my fits of super-depression. It was fun to read it after one year. I was like 'Wow man! I am sick!!(ROFL)'. I dont even remember why I was angry.

I used to write sad entries in my diary till the time I realised I was chronically depressed. Mom offered to slap me back to my senses again but the offer was enough for me to come back to a state of bliss. Oh, and now you must be wondering how sad my life can be. Well, yes, it has been a mixed bag so far. Fate handed me half of the mess and half I created for myself.

Ok!! Sorry fate for hurting your feelings. Approximately 76.88 % of the mess was created by me.

Anyways. This is my first blog written under a state of almost total emotional breakdown. I wanted to write. So I decided to make it a little comically-sad if thereis any such thing.

Wotsay??

All I ever wanted...

All I ever wanted to do(in order of priority) was fall in love, get good grades, get a good job, fall deeper in love, get an MBA, get a good job, get married, fall in love again (same person), have kids, too far to think. What happened was: fell in love, felled in love, failed in love, just passed college, got a good job, fell in love, was separated from my love (but we were still in love) realised that job wasn't really good, fell out of love, fell in love again (same person), tried for an MBA, failed, tried again, failed, fell deeper in love, was separated from my love just after that, changed my job, too early to comment on my job.......

Hmmm. Things didn't go according to 'plan'. But if you ask me what I would have preferred, what happened...happened for the good. I don't know what happens next. If I say I don't care, I'd be lying but what is going to happen???

All I want, at the moment, are not some pipe dreams but they are something out of the ordinary. Like, immunity to certain emotions, certain feelings which arise in the head every now and then, and a little more freedom; no, I don't want any amendments in my rights; freedom from a few shackles which I created myself. A little more patience, a little more faith....and Katrina Kaif.

 OK. the last part may be a pipe dream. Maybe.

And as an old friend used to say, 'lets see what transpires'!!